If they block you, does that mean you won the argument?

For folks who supported the “winning” candidate, the followers of Cheeto Jesus can be an awfully butt hurt bunch,  especially when called out about less than desirable behavior on the Interwebs.  Case in point:  A friend from high school either shared a meme I had recently posted, or just coincidentally posted the same one.  On many of these anti-Cheeto Jesus posts, a certain not-so-like minded friend of this friend shares their thoughts in a manner that is reminiscent of the comment section on a Breitbart “news” article.  His comments centered around how the Democrats “got their ass handed to them” (they didn’t) and also how Cheeto Jesus won in “a blowout” (not so much). 

Another commenter and I were, for the most part, either politely offering facts (gasp!) to refute his argument, or asking fact-based questions, both of which he chose to ignore as he continued to focus on, in his view, how the Democrats essentially labeled Cheeto Jesus supporters as racists, and that’s why they lost.  Now, to be clear, to this point, neither I, nor the other commenter, so much as came anywhere near doing that.  That’s where the third commenter comes into play.

Our third mystery guest decided to check out the gentleman’s Facebook profile and, took some screenshots of the both racist and sexist memes that were on proud display (I will not be sharing those.  Ew.).  After a brief back and forth regarding the source of the memes (“Someone else posted them.”), and how one can deal with unwanted posts on their wall (Newsflash: You can delete it if you don’t like it), here comes the “see my point of view” plea…

Now, I was midway through my response to this when I was blocked, but this was the reply I wished he’d seen:

Well, let’s see:

1. You supported, and continue to defend, a candidate who ran on a platform of racism, xenophobia, misogyny, and fake populism.

2. You allow racist and sexist content to remain on your feed, unchecked and unchallenged.

3. By your “oh, please understand why I’m an angry old white guy” comment, you continue to spew the same less-than-fact-based way of thinking that fuels the perception of you that some of us now have.

4. “Change your mind”? Please, any time I’ve seen you reply to something (mutual friend) posts, whether I choose to respond or not, someone presents facts to you, and, much like Cheeto Jesus and his other followers, the reply is always “biased liberal media”. You don’t want your mind to be changed, as is apparent by your continued support of Cheeto Jesus.

5. One might think that if you’re upset for being labeled an “old white racist”, you would look at your behavior to see why that is. Clearly, you’ve chosen another path by saying “why the hell should we care anymore?”
I’ve heard it said that, when you know better, you do better. Try that sometime.

And that’s it.  That’s what I believe – if someone says that you’re exhibiting a less than desirable behavior, maybe analyze why that is, instead of defending it.  Trust me, I know I can be an asshole, but I do actively try not to be.  We all should.  We’re all better off when that happens.

Happy holidays, fuckers. 😄


Dear Women for Trump…

For the past couple of days, I’ve seen a few posts and overheard a few conversations where women who voted for Trump are bemoaning that people are “being mean” to them because of their vote.  Well, tough shit.

Why do I say tough shit?  Why am I not offering a warm, inclusive, liberal shoulder to cry on?  Maybe because your vote for Trump says tough shit to the feelings and concerns of millions of Americans, especially women, people of color, and the LGBT community.  And really, how can you be surprised by these reactions?  I’m relatively certain that, like me, many of these folks you say are hurting your feelings now were pretty upfront about their opinions about Trump from the beginning.  We’ve been practically begging you to help us keep him out of the White House.  What was your response to us?  Tough shit.

To the estimated twenty million people who stand to lose their health insurance if the ACA is repealed – tough shit.

To the millions of Muslim Americans who are now facing increasing incidents of violence and harassment – tough shit.

To the millions of people of color who face a promised, unconstitutional and discriminatory national stop and frisk policy – tough shit.

To the millions of LGBT Americans who stand to have their civil rights stripped from them – tough shit.

To the millions of low income women who rely on Planned Parenthood for their healthcare – tough shit.

You see, your vote for Trump has legitimized so many truly horrific parts of human behavior.  Seriously, the fucking KKK is planning a victory rally in North Carolina.  It’s now cool to grab women by the pussy without their consent, apparently, because you supported it.  Forming a circle around Latino middle school kids and chanting “build a wall”?  You are good to go.  What about those kids’ feelings?  Your vote tells them tough shit.

So, no, right now if you tell me that someone was “mean” to you when you told them that you voted for Trump, I am not your soft place to fall.  If your feelings are hurt, well, tough shit.  After all, that’s what you told all women with that vote.

For the time being, you can call me Petty White, because I’m Not Ready to Make Nice.

What price, politics?

While I had feared that it was possible, I hadn’t really expected that it would actually happen.  It would appear that I have suffered my first in-real-life unfriending of the 2016 election cycle.  Look, I’m under no illusions as to whether or not I’m an asshole when it comes to sharing my political leanings; spoiler alert – I’m an asshole when it comes to sharing my political leanings, especially online.  Most people who are passionate about their politics tap dance through assholeville on the interwebs, usually whistling an annoying tune as they post a meme that made them laugh a bit too hard.  This election cycle, however, it would appear that I’ve been more annoying than usual.

 Allow me to tell you a story…

A couple of months ago, a Facebook friend of a friend posted a meme which was basically asking how could the US afford to take in refugees when there are homeless vets who need help.  Now, I don’t comment on everything I see on there, but for whatever reason, I found it necessary to point out an actual fact which countered the point of the meme (the resettlement program requires that those who are resettled must repay the costs via a low interest loan program).  The response from the original poster went something like this:

  • Hyperbole: a remark about a refugee detonating a dirty bomb in my vicinity.
  • Dismissive: I’m not a veteran, therefore I shouldn’t have an opinion regarding the topic.
  • Moderately insulting: I shouldn’t say anything when “it’s clear that you don’t know what you’re taking about”.

Rather than going scorched earth on the original poster, I made a couple of points:

  • If funds are a concern, the GOP is a better target, as they are the ones who keep slashing funding for veterans programs.
  • I fully research a topic prior to making comments so that I do know what I’m talking about.
  • I’m all for a lively debate; however, insinuating that I’m stupid is the best way to meet my banhammer.

At that point, I figured the best course of action was to remove this person from my friends list, to prevent my saying something insulting that could offend our mutual friend.  Based on current events, I was too late.

I had noticed that my (now, former) friend had been acting differently around me for a while – minimal eye contact, short answers, almost zero interaction.  At first, I dismissed it, figuring that there must be something going on that I was not a party to.  Well, after about six weeks of this, I decided to ask what was going on, because I was unaware of anything that I had done to this person that could have caused a problem.  Clearly, I was wrong.

Turns out, my (now, former) friend didn’t like the way I had interacted with this person on Facebook, feeling that I judge those who don’t agree with me as stupid.  Further, I’m told that I present it’s a my way or nothing attitude.  My (now, former) friend said that they know when they’re being an asshole, but they know when to apologize.  Rather than discussing the issue, it was decided that the silent treatment was a better option.

I try to be open when presented with credible information on any given topic.  I know that I’m not going to be as good as I want to be, but I do try.  I’ve just got to think that there has got to be something more going on than that one Facebook interaction for this to have happened.  As my (now, former) friend has officially checked out, I’ll never actually know the real, full reason for the separation. 

Look, guys, if you think I’m being a real asshole about something, please tell me, huh?  Don’t let that fester for weeks.  I’ll be sure to return the favor, because we all still have to live with each other after the election.

Update:  It would seem as though I got this fortune a bit too late…


During this election cycle, I’ve been just as guilty as a lot of other folks have been about only pointing out why Cheeto Jesus is horrible, but not saying anything as to why I support Hillary Clinton.  In fact, I’ve seen a couple of folks point this out; they only see negative posts, and no pro-Hillary ones.  I wrote a list a few days ago in response to one of these folks who, quite correctly, made this point.  My list is not all-encompassing, nor is it in any order of importance.  Here goes…

First, if someone can point out a politician who doesn’t lie or, at the very least, have a fast and loose relationship with the truth, I’d be amazed.

Second, with the email debacle, Comey said that there were three, out of tens of thousands of emails, that bore any classified markings, and that those emails only had a (C) in the body of the email. None of the three had the required header at the top, which designates classified information. Further, the emails in question were released by the State Department as part of that FOIA request with no redactions, which indicates the (C) was an error, and the content was truly unclassified.

Third, each and every previous investigation of Hillary has cleared her of any wrongdoing or criminal act – each and every one.

Fourth, Hillary Clinton has spent almost her entire professional life working to make things better for women and children, beginning with her first job out of law school, working for the Children’s Defense Fund.

Fifth, Clinton has a mastery of the issues – she listens and learns, and works to find solutions to them. She was the only candidate in this election who had a comprehensive strategy laid out for the actual issues.

Sixth, she has rightly said that her approval ratings are always high once she gets a job; this was fact checked by Politifact, and rated true.

Seventh, speaking of Politifact, she was rated the most truthful candidate in the current presidential election.

Eighth, she fights for the issues that matter to me: she is a supporter of labor unions, definitely a supporter of my reproductive health rights, supports universal health care, wants to institute family leave policies, etc.

TL;DR: I’m with her.

Another Day, Another #Hashtag.

There are many subjects where I, admittedly, don’t know shit.  Often times, my ignorance of these topics is rather benign, and I happily go on about my day – ignorance is bliss, as the saying goes.  There are some topics where I, nor any one else, can afford that luxury of ignorance any longer.

Much like the almost never ending string of mass shootings that occurs in this country, there is another inexplicable cycle of death that our country does nothing about: the killing of black Americans in very questionable circumstances by law enforcement.  

We have all been taught since childhood that the police are the ones that we can count on to keep us and our communities safe.  We’re also taught that, if you are respectful and follow an officer’s instructions, everything will be just fine.  Both of these are, for the most part, true – especially if you’re white.  Black Americans have a different experience, and it’s way past time that the rest of us listen and learn from the black community.

I’ve never given a second thought to whether or not my stepdaughters would survive a simple traffic stop, or a trip to the park; however, we’ve all seen that these are legitimate fears for a mother of a black child.  I can’t begin to imagine how that feels, so I listen.  I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard a black friend talk about how either they or one of their kids were pulled over for seemingly no reason other than they looked “out of place”.  I don’t know that I’ve ever heard a similar story from a white friend.

Each time another name becomes a #hashtag, I hear the same voices in a chorus singing the same songs:

  • “If he hadn’t been…”
  • “He should have…”
  • “Well, maybe if she didn’t …”

Then, once the outrage begins to grow, the verse changes:

  • “What about black-on-black crime?”
  • “#LatestVictim had a criminal record, so…”
  • “Why do ‘they’ always play the race card?”

Just…no.  When an entire community is reeling from yet another senseless death, humanity would be better served if you could keep your mouth shut, and your heart open.  Being dismissive to the obvious pain and grief being expressed by so many is, for lack of a better phrase, a dick move.  

There are a shit ton of things that I will neither experience nor fear, purely because I’m a pasty white woman.  That’s privilege.  It’s infuriating that so many similarly privileged people remain silent and ignorant, and, all too often, by choice.

Another day, another #hashtag.

Too many days, too many #hashtags.

Listen more – learn more – love more.

I Tried, You Guys.

I’ve spent a lot of time since hearing of the attack on Pulse Nightclub trying to think of something to say that captured my sadness and rage, and also expressed my love and hopefulness for the future.  Then, I went on the Internet and that plan was shot straight to hell.  Allow me to explain…

Ah, Facebook.  My newsfeed gives me a window into the lives and opinions of my friends and family, which is, generally, a great thing.  The place I go wrong on Facebook is the same place I go wrong on so many other places – reading the comments.  One of the first posts I saw on my newsfeed was expressing shock and sadness, and emploring folks to stay safe.  I clicked to comment, and one of the first things I saw was someone who took the time to make a remark about the scene being, “a sissy bar”.  Thankfully, no one seemed to echo that thought; however, the same commenter decided that it was logical that the government carried out this attack.  Wait, what?!  

After I exited that thread, I saw an article which had gathered some of the worst examples of fuckery – tweets and posts applauding the mass killing of LGBT people.  I…I just can’t with that.  I’m not exactly sure how or when someone in this country can come to the conclusion that, not only is it a great thing that some madman turned a gay nightclub into a slaughterhouse, but the next best course of action is to go online and do a victory lap.  Seeing some of these posts broke my brain and my heart a bit.

Let us not forget about the presumptive GOP presidential nominee, The Velveeta Raccoon himself (thanks, Dad), Donald Trump.  In the hours immediately following the attack in Orlando, Mr. Trump thought that this was the best way to show how he would comfort the nation, should there be a similar tragedy during his (hopefully nonexistent) presidency:

Classy.  Exactly the kind of reaction that one should expect from someone who aspires to be the leader of the free world.

I was also quite stunned at how quickly, and almost jubilantly, some of my conservative-leaning friends were to emphasize that the shooter was a Muslim.  To paraphrase (hopefully the next POTUS) Hillary Clinton, what difference, at this point, does it really make?!  Fifty people are dead, and another fifty-three are wounded; that level of carnage is a terrorist attack, regardless of the ideology that inspired it.  Just like Aurora.  And Sandy Hook.  And Charleston.  And San Bernardino.  And Tuscon.  And Colorado Springs.  It’s pretty disgusting that some folks are only willing to call an attack such as this terrorism when the attacker is a Muslim.  I call bullshit.

And then there are the memes.  Don’t get me wrong, I love a good meme, but, sometimes, there’s only so much bullshit my brain can handle, and some of the memes I’ve seen have exceeded my bullshit limit.  Anti-Obama memes?  Check.  Islamophobic memes?  Check.  Liberals want to take my gun memes?  My Second Amendment rights trump your right to life memes?  Check and check.  For fuck’s sake, people.

I must say, though, one of the things that I find the most hypocritical are the ones who want to remind me how those scary Muslims treat women and the LGBT in the Middle East.  It may come as no surprise that these are generally also the same folks who will rail against the supposed persecution of Christians here in the US because the majority of Americans see the conservative “religious freedom” movement as bigoted bullshit.  Here’s a newsflash for you:  I already know how women and LGBT folks are treated in the Middle East.  I’m well aware of the videos of ISIL fighters throwing gay men off of rooftops to their deaths.  I’m aware of how women are raped and tortured and murdered, and I don’t need you to lecture me about it.  Let’s face it, a jihadi telling me that homosexuality is an abomination sounds no different than a Baptist telling me that.  Same bullshit, different accent.

Oh, let’s not forget about the ammosexuals who are currently saying for the umpteenth time, “you can have my guns when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.”  Look, no one is coming for your guns.  Not now.  Not ever.  The vehemently pro-gun folks ring that bell each and every time one of these all too often occurrences happen, and it’s both stupid and tiring.  People want it to be harder for guys like this latest asshole to get their hands on guns.  I don’t understand why there is opposition to this.  I just don’t.

I don’t know, maybe the relentless onslaught of mass shootings is getting to me.  It gets hard to continue to believe that love will win.  I mean, I still do, but it is getting harder each time.


Bullshit Limit Achieved

I think that everyone has a limit of bullshit that they can withstand. Sooner or later, something is going to fill up the bullshit bucket until it can hold no more, and you’ve got to find a way to alleviate the mental pain. Whether it’s a crazy ex, a dead end job, or that asshole who cut you off on your way to work, no one has a bottomless bullshit bucket, and today proves that I am no different.

In the wake of the recent attacks in Paris (and Libya, but no one is taking about the victims of that attack), several governors have announced that their states will not accept any Syrian refugees, my state’s own governor included. In addition, I’ve seen posts from people whom I’ve considered to be my friends agreeing with these decisions in some of the most vulgar and ignorant ways imaginable.

Well, I’ve had it.

My natural inclination is to present facts to support the argument that these people are not only fleeing the civil war in Syria, but also fleeing ISIS; however, I’m really in no mood to be told how naïve I am for not automatically assuming that the Syrian refugees would be coming here to kill us all. Heaven forbid I mention that ISIS has killed far more Muslims than any other religious group – I’d certainly be labeled a “libtard”, or some other clever insult for my trouble.

Here is where my bullshit bucket comes into play – each and every one of these people are self-proclaimed Christians. Now, I am admittedly no expert, but all I do know about Christianity is that giving refuge to those fleeing war torn Syria is precisely what Jesus would do. Those posting this xenophobic garbage are also über-patriotic Americans, or so they would tell you. Perhaps I should remind them of what’s inscribed on the Statue of Liberty,

“Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

…or, maybe not. As far as they’re concerned, for the Syrian refugees, we should turn off the lamp and shut the door – your kind isn’t welcome here. What an exceedingly All-American, “we are a Christian nation”, attitude.

America’s closed, folks. Moose out front should have told ya.